My Mom and Dad are awesome

This Sunday at Church our Senior Pastor made this commebt: "Someone in your life loved you enough to tell you about Jesus." I was struck with the fact that I was lucky enough for those people to be my parents. From day one, my dad and my mom have shown and told me that I am loved by them and by God. That has shaped my worldview completely. I know I am blessed with something rare there. I am so thankful for the two of them.

This is a video I made for my Mom a couple of years ago for Mother's day. It's the song she use to sing to me as a baby.

Paintings in Gold

Recently I have been painting a collection of religious pictures heavily influenced by Byzantine and popular Catholic art. Basically, they’re pictures of Jesus and his earthly family, reflecting the stories of the gospels, covered in gold.

Believe it or not, I haven’t really gotten into making such literal religious imagery before now. There are the obvious hang ups: you can’t depict things the way they “really were.”  Many religious people think it’s distasteful or even sinful to depict something as holy as a deity. Then again, some other denominations love religious images so much they end up worshiping icons instead of the real thing.

I decided I didn’t care about reasons not to. The fact is, paintings of my Lord have shaped and dominated the world of art for centuries. To me, that’s beautiful. In the end, I don’t think anything matters but that people meditated on the true events of the life of Christ long and hard, imagined images to represent them, and provided new and glorious ways for others to experience that message. Yes, a lot of ancient religious art was used to scare people into penance, and a lot of it was made to show off the dominance and wealth of the church. But you cannot throw away the good with the bad. A lot of people in the ancient world were unable to read, and could understand the gospel through pictures. Some of the most beautiful and enduring stuff made by mankind are our pictures of the divine. And in my mind, to paint something is to glorify it. It’s an endeavor that causes you to know a subject intimately, and to be able to express it profoundly to the world.

I'm really interested in the early Christians who first imagined these images that have effected our view of the Christian story for so long. Jake got me a book on it by John Lowden. This is what he has to say:

“Early Christian and Byzantine artists invented and defined the Christian tradition in visual representation that dominated European art until recent times. The images and structures they created to embody the visible and invisible worlds of religious experience and belief were visually and intellectually so satisfying that their tradition was maintained, even through periods that sought self-consciously to throw off the burden of the past.”

This too, was a striking comment about the purpose of original Christian imagry:

“Images like words shape ideas as well as expressing them, and Early Christian and Byzantine art was profoundly ideological. But it was also an art that was made to be gazed at long and passionately. “

I’ve spent a lot of time feeling intimate with my Savior doing these pieces. There’s something extra special about the gospels compared to the rest of the Bible. Those red lettered ought to never be ignored: all we ever need to know about the character of God the Father is found in the son. He is the image of the invisible God. Yet I’m perpetually amazed by the humanness of Jesus: the fact that he had friends and a mom and got hungry and, of course, felt sorrow.

I started these around Christmas, so I’ve done quite a bit with Mary. I love Mary. The faith and obedience of this little, poverty stricken Hebrew girl is unparallely precious. Painting her and the Christ child, I think about how much they both didn’t know at that point. He’s just a newborn. She doesn’t know what’s coming. But she’s trusting God exactly where she’s at. It’s a much humbler and bleaker picture than most of history has painted for us. It reminds me of these lyrics by Peirce Pettis:

Gentile temples, stained glass swirls

Cherubim with Golden curls

Oh, how unlike your Hebrew world

Meriam

The next image is a very conceptual peice, visually referencing "The Ecstacy of St. Theresa" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecstasy_of_Saint_Theresa) It's meant to depict the holiness bestowed on us when we recieve the healing blood of his sacrifice. I made the image very flat, and incooperated goldleaf for a halo just like the ancients did. Here it is so far:

The painting that I'm working on now is the biggest and most exciting: a Pieta. A Pieta is a religious scene that’s been done over and over and over throughout history. It depicts Mary and oftentimes St. John and Mary Magdalene cradling Jesus’ dead body after it has been removed from the cross. (You may recall Michelangelo’s sculpture)  This scene never actually appears in the gospels, but is implied by the company who were present at the time of Christ’s death.  It’s a solemn and powerful image: our God’s beloved family mourning him, remembering their lives with him, and left utterly confused and shaken by his death. I wanted Christ’s mother to be the only one making eye contact; for all the blood to be gone from her face. Although still mostly unfinished, painting my own pieta has been a powerful experience

Whenever I paint, regardless of the subject matter, I do it as an act of worship to God. He’s the one who has given me the ability to create and to imagine. He’s the one who lets my hands move, brain think, and eyes see. A part of my spirit was designed by him to feel more alive in the act of making. I think that scripture reflects how God values the use and development of our skills and talents. Psalm 33: 2-3 is a verse that convinces me of that: “Praise the Lord with melodies on the lyre; make music for him on the ten-stringed harp. Sing new songs of praise to him; play skillfully on the harp and sing for joy.”

I like this passage for so many reasons.  It tells us that there ought to be newness and freshness to our worship, because the gospel is not something that can be exhausted. Our understanding of God is never tired or complete, because he is infinite, and there is always more to experience. The worshippers are told here to play skillfully: value is placed on their talents. God has gifted us with abilities for the express purpose that we might use them to praise his name. To develop your skills to the zenith of their potential is a godly and worthwhile endeavor, and one that can be used to serve others and get you closer to the heart of Christ.

So, remember: “Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10: 31)

Dolls



Some people think they're creepy. Millions of little girls adore them. I have become fascinated by them, and over the holiday, I decided that I needed to learn how to make them myself. So lately, thats what I've been up to: making marionette like polymer sculpted dolls from scratch, with no experience, for my own, girlish enjoyment.

I really wasn't much into dolls as a little girl. I liked pokemon and dinosaurs. I mean, I had Barbies, and I had sisters, so I'm no stranger to it, I just prefered dinosaurs and dirt. This is me with my dinos, all dressed to the nines.

I'm super interested in my own childhood, and sometimes I see myself trying to recapture it in my art.  Jake's little niece was unwrapped Barbie after Barbie this Christmas. I helped free them from their boxes, and was designated to play the boyfriend doll. I started to really look at the things, and wonder how they were made. There was a lot of cool detail and intricacy. I began to look at them like little sculptures.

 If that wasn't enough, we rented Team America, which is Trey Parker and Matt Stone's super hilarious (although highly inappropriate) movie made with puppet things. Then I was hooked. I get this feeling sometimes where my hands begin to burn with a desire to make: I become desperate to gain the secret power of creating something I can't yet create. Its a thrilling want, the want to create. And I'm fortunate to feel it often. My hands were burning to make dolls. So, about a week ago, I went for it. Here's how I've been going about it.

  I had made some sketches on the airplane and was using them as a reference. I started by balling up tin foil as a sort of skeleton, and covering that with polymer. I just worked with it from there; sculpting features and forms with my fingers.

Like all good women, this lady is held together mostly by bobby pins. (Remember, I was mostly working with whatever I could find around the house.) Linking them together actually worked really nicely for creating joints, and they also helped strengthen the arms and legs. After the polymer was sculpted and set, I baked her at 270 for about a half hour, and sanded her down.

Then I got to have fun! I painted the whole doll with acrylic.

  

Once painted, I invented some clothes with spare ribbon. I would later learn to steal clothes from nasty old Bratz dolls that even the garage sale shoppers rejected.

To top her off, I stole from an old halloween wig so she could have some hair. She was a first attempt and a learning tool--rough for sure-- but I was very fond of my first doll. Jake was pretty creeped out by my new art project, and I got some fun out of that too. He said I ought to name her Eve, since she was my first doll.

My first-- but not my last. One of my favorite things about being an artist is allowing myself to follow my unbridaled imagination-- that is, letting myself do absolutely whatever I feel like. So now I have a Bollywood dancer, a ballerina-ish doll with fabulously pink Marge Simpson style hair, and, of course, Wonder Woman.

I kind of became fond of the semi creepy look that these dolls have. So I HAD to make a Michael Jackson doll.

I've only been a dollmaker for a week, but its been a cool week for sure. I hope to keep getting better and learning new ways to make these little guys. Next on my list is to make the entire Justice League in puppet/doll form, because that just sounds hilarious and awesome to me. I also may start taking commissions if this sticks with me. So. If you want a doll, holla!

Christmas with Jake

What a year it’s been. Seriously. It's January, so I guess that’s the default time you're supposed to really think about all that’s happened in the past year. Or quit smoking. But I don't smoke, so for me, it's this crazy and comforting reminder that God is constantly with me. In every part of life, he is present sovereign and good. I'm thankful, humbled, and giddy when I trust that.

I spent Christmas with my beloved boyfriend Jake and his family this year. My heart was full and beating like a drum the whole time, soaking up the tender sweetness of each moment. We sat by a cozy fire together and watched old Mickey Mouse cartoons. We played in the snow in the woods, laughing and falling over. His mom taught me how to knit and his Dad took us hunting with the dogs. I felt a closeness and intimate love for my man this advent. The trust and affection between us just seems to keep getting stronger.

I was hesitant at first to spend Christmas away from my family. It was in fact the first December 25th I'd ever spent away from them. But my Mom's response was typical to her gentle and selfless character: "Christmas isn't a day, Stephanie. We'll still be together for Christmas. Go have your adventure." My Mom's amazing.

I think my 'rents were especially comfortable with shipping me off to snowy North Carolina because they know the kind of man Jake is. I am in love with a man who reflects the patience, peace, and grace of Jesus to me every day. His wisdom of and love for the scripture is refreshing and inspiring. We laugh together late into the night, talking about everything and nothing. We like the same cartoons and comic books. We pray together every single day. He makes me feel beautiful, worthy, and loved. I want to be commited to this guy wholheartedly for the rest of my life. I can't wait to be back in the passenger seat of his car in Memphis, spilling coffee on my Sunday dresses.

Anyway. Theres a bit of the joy I don't deserve but that Jesus has given me anyway. Praise him.

Christmas, the God-Man, and the Unique Quality of the Christian Faith

This is an older entry from Thursday, November 25, 2010. Thought I'd put it up here on the new, cuter pink blog.

 

Dinners have been shared, prayers of thanks have been uttered, and the coolness of night has set in. The close of Thanksgiving brings the onset of the Christmas season, and all of its beautiful implications. A spirit of somber reflection and of quiet joy has gripped me tonight. For as long as I have believed in the doctrine of Christianity, I have been repeatedly awestruck by its God and his particular character. It’s all I can do to remind myself once more what he’s done for me, and sit in quiet wonder about the miracle and oddity of his life on earth as Jesus Christ. Christmas, I think, is the perfect occasion to bathe ourselves in the wonder of the gospel and the story of the God-Man. Redemption won by humility is the glorious conclusion of the advent.

I was most recently reminded of the wonder of Christ’s divinity when I met a young man from Morocco named Salah. A good friend of mine and I were having a night out together, and Salah was working late at the shop we’d found ourselves in. I like to speak to most everyone I come in contact with, (I get that from my mother) and so it wasn’t long before the three of us were joking and talking. I was quick to inquire about his land and culture and religion, and within minutes we were standing around discussing the divine in some detail. He had been raised in an Islamic culture. I’m not sure if he himself was strict to adhere to its regulations, but he definitely identified himself as a Muslim.

I was glad to hear his convictions and thoughts—excited by his desire to know and be known by a supreme God. I admired his devotion to prayer. Listening and learning about people’s religious beliefs is more than fascinating to me… it’s of an importance I don’t know how to explain.

Salah was interested in hearing about my faith as well: particularly about my thoughts on the divinity of Jesus as a Christian. I told him how I believed that God willingly became flesh in the person of Jesus Christ, emptied himself for our sake, and offered himself as a living sacrifice as an atonement for our sin. Immediately I saw the distain on his face. He was shaking his head in disbelief.

 “You believe that the Prophet Jesus was God and a man?”

“Yes. Fully God and fully man.”

“That’s stupid to me.”

Salah laughed. And, you know, I couldn’t really blame him. I think it’s good to become reacquainted with the oddity and miraculous nature of your Christianity if you have become numb to it. It’s good to take moments to be awestruck and confused. And in that moment, I was.

 Salah was wise in assessing that God, if there is a god, must be untouchably holy. Man, in comparison, is finite, weak, and unworthy.  Surely the power of the Eternal is beyond us-- unfathomable to moral minds. To mingle God with human flesh seemed to make filthy the name of God.  Not only was the concept of the God-man unbelievable in a practical sense, it was disgraceful and offensive to the holiness and immaculacy of Divine nature.  To suggest that the everlasting creator God would be willing to belittle himself to the point of walking with men as a man disgusted my new friend. He would not hear my bizarre opinion, because to his ears it was unthinkable and blasphemous.

While I understood his skepticism of Jesus Christ’s divinity, I was deeply saddened for my friend. What Salah simply could not accept as true about God was the very thing that made Him most glorious, beautiful, and praiseworthy in my eyes.

This is what the Bible says about my God:  “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and grace to help us in our time of need.”  Hebrews 4:15-16

We, as Christians, believe in a God who emptied himself of all but love, bend down, and walked with men and women as one of them—teaching people and healing people in the name of the Father who loved them.  Truly, it is a mystery unfathomable: pure radiance wore flesh, the eternal stepped into time.  God, infinite in perfection, chose to be born into poverty stricken Israel to a Hebrew little girl in the 1^st century, live the life of a homeless man, and die as a criminal. He walked on earth as we walk on earth, and felt the pain of life that we feel. He asks us to do nothing he did not first exemplify in himself.  His entrance into time was for this purpose: to break the curse of death and absorb the wrath of God in our place. Jesus restores what sin had damaged in the relationship between God and his beloved creation.

In his humility we see so clearly the heart of God: rich in mercy and unfathomable love.  Think for a moment about a God for whom perfect glory was his right, but absolute humility was his choice. This choice was made chiefly for our sake… so that we could know and see the heart of this God, and even enter into his family as sons.  In his humility we witness his mercy, and praise his name for it. In this way, God’s glory was most perfectly displayed to the world through Christ’s death and resurrection.  It was the plan of God before the beginning of time: “It was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief.” (Isaiah 53:10.) When Christ was spit upon, mocked, bruised, beaten and crucified, God was not being conquered. God was conquering death itself in Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says this: “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” God’s sovereign, unthwarted will was accomplished despite our sin, within our sin, to rescue us from our sin. Here is the mystery and the majesty of the cross.

Not only is the sacrifice of Christ the only right response of God in his justice to save us, it is the very thing that wins our hearts affections for him. When a human soul encounters the truth of God’s love in Christ, overwhelming gratitude is awakened, deeply inlayed purpose provoked, and  we find ourselves asking the question posed in that old hymn:

“What wondrous love is this

That caused the Lord of Bliss

To bare the dreadful curse for my soul?”

The Christian is the one who recognizes Christ as his most prized treasure, and submits himself to the servant hood of discipleship under Jesus. His sufferings are redeemed-- as well as expected—and made to glorify God in him. His soul is new; untainted in the eyes of his creator.

This Christmas, we reflect upon the miracle of God’s entrance into the world as a helpless baby. We celebrate that our supreme God cloaked himself in human frailty: whose humble attitude is distinctly unique to Christianity amongst all other religions. My dear boyfriend Jake consistently reminds me of the selfless quality of the God who emptied himself for us. It stands out plainly amongst other belief systems, and Jake was initially attracted to the unique beauty of Jesus.

But Yahweh’s humility is not only exemplified in Christ’s earthly life: we see it in the way he chooses to build his kingdom and call his people throughout the entire Bible. Our God is known for using broken, foolish, uneducated people to represent his name in the world.  In most other mythologies, gods choose mortals who are valiant, strong and heroic to accomplish their purposes. But the scriptures are full of sinners and weaklings hand-picked by God to be called saints. Consider Moses, a murderer—Jonah, a coward—David, and adulterer and a murderer—the disciples: a band of mismatches from a doctor to fishermen, who would doubt and deny Jesus after walking with him for years as dear friends—Paul a religious zealot known for killing Christians—prostitutes, thieves, tax collectors. These were God’s chosen people.

It seems that God delights in saving those who seem to be beyond saving, and in lavishing his love upon the unlovely. He does not fear our messiness or ugliness. We know this because he was born in a barn and laid in a feeding trough.  We know this because we were loved immeasurably during our worst disrepair: “For while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) Do not doubt that you have ever fallen beyond the reach of the grace of our incredible God.

Though we are called to holiness, we know that our effort to be holy is insufficient to save us. We cannot make the cut, and luckily, don’t have to. Because we have a High Priest who is truly unlike any other: who saves us by his grace because of his willingness to humble himself.

Psalm 68: 19-20 “Praise be to the Lord, to our God and Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the sovereign Lord comes escape from death.”

Merry Christmas to all!!